Steve Died

I walked into my favorite hair salon this morning bright and early. I have workers at my house, so getting in and out was a must today. Anyone that has ever known me, knows I only get up early for Disneyland, airplanes, hikes and hair appointments. Other than that, don’t even bother calling.

As I sat down, my friend and hair magician said to me, “Oh, we have troubles.” For a second I thought she was about to tell me that she was short the gallon or two of hair dye needed to make me look less ancient or at least less gray.

I looked up smiling and realized that her eyes were not happy and that she was not kidding. She told me that Steve died.

Steve is the man, the only man that worked at a station in the salon. He wore jeans, boots at times, and as I recall, a lot of black. He never cut my hair, but was always sweet and talked to me about the nothings we tend to talk about in a hair salon.

I never knew that he and another stylist at this shop are married.

I never knew that his other real job was as a mechanic for a bus line.

All I ever knew of Steve is that he is funny, likes to talk, and has an easy laugh; and that he died unexpectedly and quickly.

As I left the shop I thought, I hope he died having accomplished what he wanted to accomplish. Maybe its just my obsessive nature, but it seems to me that dying without having completed what I want to complete is the worst possible scenario of all.

I’m sure thats why we mourn those who die young with a deeper sense of loss than those who lived to a ripe old age. But I think that dying old, having unrequited dreams may be even sadder. Steve wasn’t old by any measure, so I wonder if he had any dreams still left unrealized.

I know his wife, friends and family will miss him terribly. I know that the shop will never be the same without him.

I know that I will pay even more attention to getting to the art of living. I also know that many of you skeptics will say that chasing dreams is easier when you are retired. To a great extent, that is true. I will tell you this, I wasted 28 years of dream catching by saying I would get to it “when I retire.”

Many of us have children, jobs, responsibilities, and obligations. So what? Make time to dream catch. Drag your kids along. Learn to say no to all those things you say yes. At least say yes less often.

Become who you are. Catching dreams is contagious and your children and friends will benefit from your example.

Thank you Steve, for the lesson.

Thanks for being my friends.



About Caro

I am a social worker by training and a peace officer by profession having worked with California’s delinquent youth and young adults for 28 years. I firmly believe that our development as humans depends on our environment and that sometimes we get stuck. As such, I write about those things we sometimes ignore or fail to see until we are forced to pay attention.
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