That’s an ice pack on my knee. That tramp tripped me. Well, not really.
Luna, my son’s 7 month old puppy (big-as-a-horse-dog) and I like to run a few miles each morning. Last Tuesday we went out and she was great. Well she was great until she saw two kids on bikes that looked like they would be fun to play with. She bolted and the leash I held in my left hand released too. She ran hard and I felt the leash grow in length as she ran. In an instant she reached its limit and she pulled it taut, jerking me forward, even as I tried to let go. I stumbled forward and as if in slow motion my outstretched left hand hit the pavement as I slid forward, landing on my left shoulder scraping my inner elbow area in the process. My right knee hit the pavement and I felt the scrape on the knee cap. Ouch.
I propped myself up and shook my head to try and regain my bearings. I heard the leash scraping the ground behind me and I figured she was still chasing those kids. As I looked to see where she went I realized she was running back to me full speed. She ran around to my legs and plopped herself on my lap, licking my face. All I could do was grab her tight and hug her to me as I tried to decide if I could stand up.
I grabbed her leash and walked her the rest of the way home.
Today is Friday. I have not been able to move my arm at all, even with the help of my right hand. I finally faced the fact that I had to get x-rays to make sure that I didn’t chip some bone somewhere, whether in my shoulder (like my mom did a few months ago, fracturing her scapula in a similar fall) or in my knee cap. I call to see if I need an appointment or if I can just walk in. “Oh,” just come in they say, “no appointment needed.”
I have been to this radiology lab a number of times over the years. Broken fingers, legs (both), wrists (both) as well as for barbaric mammograms and joyous sonograms. Needless to say I know my way around this lab, and can at times talk staff into telling me results since my spouse is a physician (apparently I can be trusted by association).
Arriving at the lab I grab the door handle, only to find it locked. What the…..? And the sign said, sorry for the inconvenience, we are closed to upgrade computers. Please go to such and such location for assistance.
I drive to the new location, one I’ve never been to before and begin the search for the correct suite. I find the lobby and get in line. I register and am asked to sit and wait for about 5 minutes. I turn to the nearest staff and say, “I’m just going to step away for a minute, to go to the restroom.”
“No problem,” he said, “it’s right over there behind the exit sign.”
I walk into the restroom and select the first available stall while listening to two women talking. They wash their hands and leave, chatting away. I take care of my business and grab my purse from the door hook with my right hand. I go to open the door and realize its still locked.
I turn the lock and then try again. No luck, the door won’t budge.
Oh man, I must of jammed the door closed in my haste.
I pull the door to me from the top right corner. No luck. The bottom right corner. No luck.
Holy crap, Batman! I sure could use another hand, but my left arm is limply sitting under my chest, close to my body so as not to accidentally tweak it causing me to writhe in pain.
I jiggle the little round lock that slides a peg into a hole in the stall door jamb. Nope, not budging.
I stand still for a minute.
I’m locked in a bathroom stall. I couldn’t make this up, I thought.
I can’t pull hard enough with just my right hand.
I can’t crawl under the door, since my knee is swollen and scabbed.
I bit my lip and decide, I’ll have to yell for help.
I took a deep breath and was about to start yelling when the door opened and from outside the bathroom someone yelled, “Jill you in here?”
HELLO! Hello! Could you come in here for a minute?
As she walked in I said, I need help opening this door. I’m locked in.
She jiggled the door and said, “I’m going to push it ok?”
The door popped open and she laughed. “We cant have you stuck in here can we?” She turned and left.
Thank you I said, and washed my hands.
Here I said, and followed the man into the back of the lab.
He looked at me up and down and said, just take off your bra and shirt and meet me in the room next door.
I closed the dressing room door behind me, afraid to lock it having recently been traumatized by door locks and began to undress. Taking my tee shirt off was more work than I anticipated.
“You ok in there?” chuckled the lady taking out the dirty laundry bags. “You’re doing a lot of huffing an puffing, sounds like you could use help.”
“I’m good, thanks” I said, rolling my eyes. Everyone’s a comedian.
X-rays taken. Negative results, bones intact.
Pride fractured. Rx: more wine.
Thanks for being my friends.