The lady next door is an interesting sort. Every morning at 0900, she walks outside in her pajamas wielding a cordless electric blower fearlessly tackling the eight burgundy leaves that had the audacity to drop off the beautiful plum tree in her front yard. Well, let me be clear. She blows the leaves that fell onto her driveway and sidewalk. Yet she ignores the leaves that fall onto the grass, which are far more than eight. But yet again, let me be clearer. She blows the eight leaves out onto the street.
And she leaves them there.
Don’t get me wrong, I am as weird as the best of my weird neighbors. After all, I spend the greater part of my day arguing with a dog that is simultaneously smarter and dumber than me. I spend time repairing dog beds that she devotes her time chewing so as to uphold her status as dog extraordinaire who as she puts it, “don’t give a bark.” Its an endless war, but, I finish each battle.
Maybe I expect too much. She walks with a slight limp and she has the biggest boobs I’ve ever seen…well I may have seen others bigger, but you know what I mean. Perhaps she is unable to bend down and pick up those leaves. I have no boobs, but I backpack, so I know that leaning over can cause you to tip in an instant.
I live on a cul de sac. The cul de sac ends on the east, with the street pointing away to the west. Like many streets in Sacramento, this cul de sac creates a wind tunnel every evening. The wind barrels down the street, circles the cul de sac and spins, playfully picking up any leaves, dust or gum wrappers left on the asphalt.
Those leaves that she drops onto the street, end up on the sidewalk in front of all our homes, or in our yards.
There are only eight of those leaves yes, but its the principle of it all.
If you must blow leaves at 0900, why not blow them onto the grass with the other leaves? Those other leaves, the lazy fall-where-they-may leaves, will as always, sit there until Thursday, when our mutual gardner will drop by to mow and otherwise spruce up the yards.
I’m not upset enough to go out and talk to her about her habits. But, neither am I going to go pick anything up. I’m just too lazy.
So blow away lady…I’ll watch as I mend dog beds.