I love coffee. So I don’t drink coffee.
As a backpacker, I couldn’t consume enough coffee on the trail to prevent my inevitable withdrawal migraines so I decided to reduce my caffeine intake by switching to tea.
I’m on my second Cup 0’Joe this morning.
Luna, the dog I didn’t want, reached into my chest, grabbed my heart, pulled it out of my chest, and stomped on it. Again.
You see she is a destructive beast that can’t be left alone for any period of time. She is now 8.5 months old and really attached to me.
Every morning, my husband wakes her, takes her outside to “go potty,” and returns her into the house. This morning after she woke me with a quick tongue lashing, she was returned to the laundry room (baby proof room) to give me a few more minutes of sleep. An hour later, I gathered myself to go downstairs and retrieve her.
As I walked through the kitchen, I looked at the base of the laundry room door to see a break in the sunlight coming from behind. I could see a shadow where she lay near the door.
Happy that she was anticipating my approach, I started calling to her. Luuuuuuna. Luna Ballooooooona!
It dawns on me that I have changed names into rhymes for my entire life. I blame it on the “Name Game” song that became popular when I was 2 years old.
Luna, Luna, bo-Buna,
But I digress.
As I drew closer to the door, I could see her shadow move and I knew he would be ready to play. Normally, I have to wake her and coax her off her comfy bed.
Like a scene from a horror story when the dumb, soon-to-be-victim of some axe and chain saw murderer walks into a dead end, dark basement, I opened the door to my own doom.
The smile was wiped from my face by the paw that stabbed me in the back, and I was left speechless.
Luna did not apologize. She just stared.
I let her out and she proceeded to lick my feet– another dog habit I hate. I can only imagine what my crazy neighbor-lady next door thinks when I suddenly yell, “Stop licking my feet, you tramp!”
As she walked away nonchalantly, I closed the door gently and decided to make myself some coffee.
I run so I wouldn’t choke anyone. Since Luna helped me fracture my shoulder that is not an option for a while. Now I just sigh, shake my head and hope, nay pray, she grows out of it.
We went upstairs to watch the little kids from the Montessori school have their pictures taken. That was when she accidentally stepped on my computer power cord. I was mid project.
Luna, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn’t know this either, but love don’t make things nice – it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren’t here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong dogs and die. The Lassie storybooks are bullshit. Now I want you to come upstairs with me and get on my bed! (Adapted from the movie Moonstruck)
Luna says hi.