Happy Last Birthday, FDO!


In my house (and sometimes in my sister’s house) I tell people that they can only have birthday-days until the birth of their first child…then the celebrations belong to the new person, and the old person has no more birthdays. I call it the Last Birthday.

Sounds silly, and perhaps it is, but the Last Birthday concept is of great importance. Transitions into adulthood are abundant, Quincenera celebration, earning a driver’s license, graduating high school and college etc. All of these transitions, however do not require a vast amount of maturity as much as they require skills or preparation. As well, all of these pale in comparison to becoming a parent, which to be successful, requires an enormous amount of growth and maturity. The act itself is a transition, but I like to think that giving up ones narcissistic focus on oneself is more important.

I know that many of you who know me well, will remind me of my endless quest for gifts on my birthday. Yes of course, I’m shameless…but I can tell you that those solicitations were never to my parents, or my children. That begging was saved for my unsuspecting friends and coworkers!

You see I stopped having birthdays at home, about 23 years ago, with the birth of my first child, Olivia (FDO (Favorite Daughter Olivia)). She happened to be born 5 days after my birthday. She turns 23 today…. and she is pregnant with Avi Daniel.

This will be her Last Birthday.

But, Olivia is not to fear because I will continue to celebrate her as my baby until forever….. because that’s just how it is when you can no longer focus just on yourself….you have to give that love away to your babies.

I love my naked mole rat and she will love her Avi.

Happy Last Birthday FDO!


About Caro

I am a social worker by training and a peace officer by profession having worked with California’s delinquent youth and young adults for 28 years. I firmly believe that our development as humans depends on our environment and that sometimes we get stuck. As such, I write about those things we sometimes ignore or fail to see until we are forced to pay attention.
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One Response to Happy Last Birthday, FDO!

  1. katmulkey says:

    Love love love. and Happy Last Birthday to Olivia!


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